It's Official

The deadline is set. Now I have something to look at, a constant reminder of how much time I have left.  More likely, it will be a constant reminder of how far behind I am.

But we're going to think positively for now.

3 pages a day (or until completion is achieved). That shouldn't be too difficult. . .

Scars & Stories

I'm a big music fan.  Not the crazy music kid type that salivates over obscure indie bands or devotes exuberant sums for concerts, special sound-enhancing headphones, and the like.  I'm not cool enough to be classified as a "real" music lover.

Nevertheless, I enjoy music.  All types of music.  Music inspires me.  I'm a big proponent of having a soundtrack handy while writing.  A great song doesn't last the three or four minutes it takes to blast through speakers.  A great song lingers, infusing itself into your mind and being.  A great song has the power to go beyond itself and inspire further creative force.  At least that's how I feel when I'm writing.  All it takes is one song to pop up on iTunes shuffle to bulldoze through a week long bout of infuriating writers block and suddenly the creative juices gushes forth.  

It's amazing how one art form can influence another in just a matter of seconds.  But I suppose that the purpose of good art: to inspire, to provoke, to energize.  

But I'm beginning a tangent that I don't have any desire to follow right now.  Back to the main point of this particular post--Scars & Stories.  The title pays homage to the newly released album by The Fray.  If you haven't listened yet. Stop reading this now and go purchase the group's latest body of brilliance.  Regardless of whether or not you're a fan of the band's pop-indie music, I dare you to dispute their lyrical genius. As a rather verbose writer myself, I'm completely jealous of how songwriters can weave together such rich, multi-layer stories chalked full of emotion in so few words. 

Besides the auditory festival of awesome the latest Fray album offers, I find myself hung up the title itself--Scars & Stories.  For the past few days I have been analyzing the meaning and implications of the name. Scars and stories. Stories and scars. Every scar has a story. Every story has scars. 

The idea put me on the track of creation itself and how scars are such an integral part of storytelling. Think about it.  What great literary character isn't riddled with one sort of scar or another?  Whether they suffer from complicated relationships or ingrained personal flaws, the characters that populate the stories we love, hate, hate to love, and love to hate each all possess some lasting aftereffect of trouble in their lives. 

It's interesting to think about the lengths people go to every day to remove the visible and invisible scars from their being.  Creams, laser treatments, counseling, we're taught to view scars with a negative connotation.  Scars a reminders of bad things and times we'd rather just forget.  They are tags that distinguish us from everyone else around, in a bad way it would seem.  

And it's true that the history and residual effects of every scar isn't going to be pretty.  But the creation and continuing story of every scar is vitally important to its owner.  Even when we don't want to be reminded of our scars, the significance of their existence can't be overlooked.  

Scars do tell stories.  They may make us stronger or weaker or frightened or empowered.  They may make us or remind us a lot of thing.  But no matter the scar or the person, its being does tell a tale.  And the affect--even if a tiny degree--how we behave and how our story unfolds.  

People like to say they enjoy all the pretty, happy things in life.  But let's be honest.  Its the thing with edge, with complexities, with flaws, with uncertain passions, with SCARS that are the real attention grabber.  All to often the pretty, happy thing are shallow and their attraction fleeting.  Scarred beings are the ones that leave an impression, that evoke lasting emotion, that make a person want to reach out and connect with another. 

People's scars may be different--different shape, different sizes, different color, different impacts--but the real beauty of scars is that everyone has them.  These marks that make us feel different, alienated, are often the source that forges connections and relationships, whether we realize it or not. 

When I sit down to write and I'm trying to build characters, a big part of finding out who they are is determining what is wrong with them.  Essentially, I have to identify their scars.  Fiction may live in the world of make believe, but great stories are dependent on great characters.  And more than anything else characters need to be real.  And what's more real than scars?  It's impossible to pass through life, a life worth living, without sustaining a fair share of scars. Hence figuring out a character's scars and how they received them is just as selecting a name, vocation, purpose, or belief set for your character. 

So what I hope you take away from this is the importance of embracing your scars and not hiding them--or from them. Scars are the backbone of enriching, awe-inspiring, wonderful stories.  And your story is beautiful.  

Reformed Procrastinator?

Eighty-four days.

That's how long it's been since my last blog post. Oops. 

Believe it or not, that's an improvement for me.  I was looking through my current journal--yes, I actually keep a hard copy, pen-to-paper account of my daily life--and realized that I went one year and two months between my first and second posts.  I suppose it was a slow year?

And there's always room for more improvement, which is why I'm embarking on a reformation.  A reformation to weed of my procrastination tendencies.  To some degree, I know everyone has them.  But I fear my have become even more pronounced since I've started working from home.  I'm a deadline person.  As much as I hate to admit it, I thrive on the stress and anxiousness that comes along from having due dates.  And I'm not talking about a "have this to me in the next week or two" type of deadline.  I'm talking about the "hurry, I need this within the hour" type of time lines. 

For some reason, I thrive when the adrenaline is pumping and I know there's only a limited time until Game Over. 

Undefined or long-term projects aren't exactly my forte. I can have a week to work on something and still wait until the last minute.  In those situations I'm usually cursing myself and my lack of due diligence when it comes to working ahead, but I haven't been able to find a way to effectively change my behavior.  After all, I have yet to fail to follow through and produce more than adequate results.  And I know that's part of what's contributing to my unhealthy time management behavior--my ability to pull together everything in the end. 

If there are no negative consequences, then why change?

But change I must.  I've decided it's an important step, if I ever want to really feel like I've transitioned into adulthood.  So, I made a list of several New Year's Resolutions. Most of them involved some long-term project or reoccurring tasks. 

To my surprise, I've managed to keep up with many of them so far.  Since I'm planning on changing jobs by early spring many of them involve updating and enhancing my professional platform.  I've given myself to the end of January to build a website, update my resume and portfolio, and create a stronger online presence. 

Check. Check. And semi-Check. 

Once I commit to a routine blogging schedule (or at least something that's more than a post every eighty-two days), I'll give myself the rest of the third check mark. 

SIDE NOTE: I'd just like to say, I'm still not sure about this whole new expectation of employers, and wider society, have for us to be all tech-savvy and present online.  While I feel like I'm accomplishing my resolutions by building my online presence, what I'm really feeling is, "God, please don't let someone start stalking me." 

The only resolution I haven't kept completely in line with (besides this blog, I mean) is the tentative writing schedule I've made for myself.  Sadly, I am about ten pages behind in my manuscript.  I keep telling myself that I'll just write an extra page or two a day, or make it up over the weekend. I've decided that excuse is equivalent to a drug addicts, "I'm not an addict. I can stop whenever I want. Just give me one more hit" scenario. 

It's an imaginary crutch that I need to leave behind, so I can stand on my own and take off running.  So a healthy dose of mental conditioning is on my horizon.  And a list of consequences.  Maybe if I delve out personal consequences when I don't fulfill tasks in a timely manner, then I can cure myself of my procrastination. 

I'll have to make a list of daily tasks and coordinating consequences. They'll have to be legit too, so I won't slip up.  No iPod for the night? Not being able to watch the newest Pretty Little Liars when it's on, or, lord forbid, no chocolate for a day!  With consequences like those, I'd surely stay on the straight and narrow.  Now to find a Consequence Commissioner to keep me on task and hand out my punishments accordingly. . .

That's all for now, folks.  Until next time stay awesome, and I'll do my best to continue my reform!

A Work in Progress. . .

As I write this, I feel like I'm officially entering the 21st century. Only eleven years behind schedule, not too bad. Right? I've finally made it to the Bloggerverse.

For a few years now, I've been saying that I would start my own blog and share all my wonderful thoughts and concerns with the world. Of course, something always seemed to pop up and derail the execution of my plans. Other than completing time-specific tasks, timeliness isn't exactly my strong suit. So I'm sure my own procrastination has certainly played a roll in lack of action.

But that's all behind me now. In addition to laying out my countless gems of wisdom and astute observations, this forum will (hopefully) serve as a motivational tool to help keep me on top of my other writing projects and plans. Chances are that if I'm failing at updating this blog, than I'm being lax and not working on anything else either.

So for maybe the ten of you who read this (I'm not naive about the amount of traffic this will get) first off, thank you. Secondly, I'm tasking you with a new responsibility. Please hold me accountable to this new endeavor.  My pre-New Year's resolution is to actually keep a resolution. Help me make that happen. If I fail to post something every few days (that's my goal right now) give me a good prodding. Comments, emails, angry messages are all acceptable. I want to see if I can really keep this thing going.

I should warn you, it probably won't be pretty or cohesive in the beginning. Or maybe ever. Hence the "Random" in the title. When I seriously began thinking about creating a blog, my first thought was, "What will it be about?" That of course was quickly followed by, "why bother, who would want to read it?" But I've clearly gotten over that hang-up.

Unfortunately, I'm still not sure what this is going to be about. But I've decided knowing the "what" shouldn't be the most important part of the equation right now. It's enough that I'm working through the problem at all. This really is going to be a "work in progress," but seeing how it progresses, I have no doubt, will contribute to the enjoyment/frustration/accomplishment of this experience.

All that sounds pretty enough. But really, what it all means is that those of you who read this will most likely be subjected to the most random mix of commentary, articles, musings, games, so on and so forth that you've ever seen. All complements of my varied interests and inability to focus. You're welcome, in advance.

It also means that I'll be toying around with the visual aesthetics of this blog trying to find a look I really like. So, don't be surprised if you happen to come back and everything looks different. Another product of my indecisiveness.

That's enough rambling for now. And thankfully the awkward, mandatory introduction for the inaugural post is over. I promise all (most) following entries will have some actual point.

Until then, thanks for joining me on this new journey. Get ready to life, cry, be thoroughly confused--and yet strangely enjoy it. So much Awesome and Win fill follow!